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Pieces

The Black Death
50
YMC '21-'22   •   March 2022
- Anne, mine old friend, I… I hast been touch'd by the bubonic plague.- Nay! Prithee, Margar…
If Money Grew On Trees
62
SAB '24   •  
- Environmental protection would be bipartisan. - In the fall, you could substitute real money wit…
thegreatcoming2000.blogspot.com
26
GPCP '22   •   May 2022
January 2, 2000I know, I know, elephant in the room. I said the world was going to end at the dawn …
My Dog and All My Coworkers’ Dogs All Got Food Poisoning From the Office Dog Food Stash and It Was Really Awful and Sad
16
YMC '21-'22   •   September 2021
Monday Me: (crying at desk).Lisa: Sorry to hear about your Maltese dog, Doug. When my su…
The Count of Monte Cristo Returns to Marseilles
19
ASB '17   •   December 2020
Count: People of Marseilles! For twenty years you unfairly imprisoned me. Now behold my immens…
Date Ideas
1
LRK '21-'22   •   November 2020
-Tap Dancing Summer Intensive-Battle it out in a kite flying competition-Try lettuce for the first …
Career Day
10
MFP '23-24   •   December 2021
My dad has the coolest job ever. Everyday he comes home in a different kiss-stained uniform. Some d…
Vanitas
10
AJ '18   •   December 2020
Now that you finally have this issue in your hands, you’re probably wondering one thing and o…
QUEER ON THE FRONTIER
8
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
Host: Hello and welcome back to Queer on the Frontier: the show that examines cultural representati…
Buzzer
45
GPL '21-'22   •   November 2019
– Hey dude how do we know our pizza is ready for pick-up? – The buzzer they gave us. …
Swearing Kills
54
MFP '23-24   •   May 2022
May December Romance
103
EB '24   •  
- Yeah, I had a grandpa too once. Is yours cool or like a piece of shit or do you like hate him or …
Vanitas
JLG '21   •   October 2020
Dear Judging Committee for the American Society for Magazine Editors, I notice you have not been r…
Medical Report
72
EPS '24   •  
I have this disease where everyday at 3 am three dudes kick the shit out of me.  It started p…
Measuring the Length of my Penis
37
BWM '19-'21   •   February 2020
*mmmm* ..    (the tip of my penis extends to the 4 inch mark)    “mmm…
Side Gig
69
JTK '24   •   May 2023
Every pizza shop’s dream is a delivery driver with no obligation to the law. That, or an Ital…
Tales of Vengeance
21
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
Amnesia
1
GPL '21-'22   •   October 2019
– John? I mean uh, excuse me random stranger? – What do you want? – I have amne…
At The Airport With My Least Favorite Uncle
10
ENO '21   •   April 2020
Uncle: Hey, Martin! Martin! Sit with me! Martin: I gotta get on my plane. Uncle: Where’re y…
Things I Want to Tell Stacy Now That I’m No Longer In Eighth Grade
40
KMM   •   February 2010
– I was the one who kind of initiated the tradition of everyone hugging each other at the end…