Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019
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Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
Winter 2024
My Pitch
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by JKF '25
Oh, you want my... startup idea? Well, no, I couldn’t...
F.B.I. Agent
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by KMB '26
Yes, it’s me. I’m the one listening into every call, text, or video you’ve ever sent. It’s just me though...
WWII Telegram
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by AWE '27
Shortly before the end of WWII, Hitler sent a last ditch telegram to the President of Mexico asking him to join the Nazi cause...
If Animal Farm Critiqued Other Stuff
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by AWE '27
Post-Modern Family
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by KMB '26
Mr. Parker marries Esmeralda, a Colombian bombshell 20 years his senior with...
Quick Update
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by RB '26
To my dear patients it goes without saying that I will not be taking cancer advice from anyone with cancer...
Emails From The I.T. Guy
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by AWE '27
Hey, it’s Derek from I.T. It’s my job to oversee your search history, and I noticed you’ve spent the past few hours looking at ropes and night vision goggles. I just wanted to let you know that if you’re planning a heist, I’m in...
What's Missing
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by JRC '27
I don’t have any genitals, which has made it very hard to make friends in school...
Class Presentation
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by JRC '27
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall. Humpty’s friend Clumpty told a funny joke. Humpty’s friend Clumpty told a funny joke...
Blizorps
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by SMR '25
In the year 2000, the Creator of Planet Blizorping put two Blizorps in sleeper pods to travel to Earth...
Paranoia
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by CYL '26
Kevin: Umm, I guess I would have to say Amy...
How Ivy League Aliens Respond When You Ask Where They Crash Landed
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by SEH '26
Oh, just a little crater in Roswell. Well I’m from New York, but every summer we crash in Area 51...
Meeting My Biological Dad On Slither.io
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by LKN '25
“I’m ready,” I said, taking a deep breath. Mom and Daniel gave me a big hug. “You’re more than ready, champ...
Grief Counselor
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by RB '26
Pete has been struggling to find work ever since he had the optional surgery that removed his ability to understand subtlety...
Barbie Gets Breast Cancer
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by KMB '26
Welcome to the first support group meeting for Barbies with Cancer. Please help yourself to some Easy-Bake banana bread...
If I Were A Horse
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by DKN ’27
I’m not a horse yet, but here’s things I will do if I become one...
Waking Up From A Coma
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by AWE '27
Hey Bruce, how’d you sleep? I hope it was good, because we have a lot to discuss now that you’re awake. Remember Jibbly from our wedding...
Bug Date
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by MSS ’25
Heyy! sorry i feel like i was talking ur ear off last night about all the different new types of meditation ive come up w hahaha...
Nazareth Carpentry FAQ
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by HTM '26
IF JESUS IS A MIRACLE WORKER, THEN WHY IS MY PROJECT TAKING SO LONG...
Third Member Of Wham!
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by LKN '25
I am the third secret member of Wham! No I am not excited to tell you that...
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by HRF '25
Oh sorry, were you in line? I have fetal alcohol syndrome so I get to purchase my alcohol first...
Method Actors Anonymous
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by AGDP '26
To study for a role as a troubled alcoholic, Leonardo DiCaprio attended several real Alcoholics Anonymous meetings...
Thoughts From The Guy Who Stands Behind The Mona Lisa All Day And Looks Through The Holes Where The Eyes Used To Be
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by SEH '26
Okay. Focus. You’re your own last line of defense. Can’t let them steal me...
Jobbly: Origin Story
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by HRF '25
Jobbly-joobly; jibbly, jobbly...
A Very Special Strealer
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by JRC '27
The Red Sox are leading the Yankees in a 2-1 nail-biter going into the ninth inning. Aaron Judge steps up to bat, and—hang on, folks—he’s been shoved out of the way by a buck naked streaker...
What Would You Do?
Entirely Secret & Completely Optional #
• by RB '26
What Would You Do? is a hidden camera show where ordinary citizens face moral dilemmas...
Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019
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