Oh, you want my... startup idea? Well, no, I couldn’t...

Yes, it’s me. I’m the one listening into every call, text, or video you’ve ever sent. It’s just me though...

Shortly before the end of WWII, Hitler sent a last ditch telegram to the President of Mexico asking him to join the Nazi cause...

Mr. Parker marries Esmeralda, a Colombian bombshell 20 years his senior with...

To my dear patients it goes without saying that I will not be taking cancer advice from anyone with cancer...

Hey, it’s Derek from I.T. It’s my job to oversee your search history, and I noticed you’ve spent the past few hours looking at ropes and night vision goggles. I just wanted to let you know that if you’re planning a heist, I’m in...

I don’t have any genitals, which has made it very hard to make friends in school...

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall. Humpty’s friend Clumpty told a funny joke. Humpty’s friend Clumpty told a funny joke...

In the year 2000, the Creator of Planet Blizorping put two Blizorps in sleeper pods to travel to Earth...

Kevin: Umm, I guess I would have to say Amy...

Oh, just a little crater in Roswell. Well I’m from New York, but every summer we crash in Area 51...

Heyy! sorry i feel like i was talking ur ear off last night about all the different new types of meditation ive come up w hahaha...

I am the third secret member of Wham! No I am not excited to tell you that...

Oh sorry, were you in line? I have fetal alcohol syndrome so I get to purchase my alcohol first...

To study for a role as a troubled alcoholic, Leonardo DiCaprio attended several real Alcoholics Anonymous meetings...