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Pieces
Yearbook Signing
15
MAG '21-'22 • May 2021
-Hey Brad, want me to sign your yearbook? -Of course, Dylan! Good luck at Dartmouth next year. We&…
Going to America
111
LKN '25 • May 2023
Grandpa says that in America, the streets are paved with gold and the water is made of milk and hon…
Advice For A New CIA Agent
31
HHD • October 2008
Welcome to your first day in the CIA. First of all, congratulations. If you’re an agent, you …
Wheel of Fortune
31
MFP '23-24 • December 2022
Contestant #1: I’d like to solve the puzzle: Host: Go right ahead. _’D L_KE &n…
Genesis
10
HJH '19 • December 2020
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, but …
Fireman
59
OMA '24 • December 2022
As a fireman, I face difficult decisions on a daily and nightly basis. For instance, do I take the …
Cowboy Fantasies
6
MAG '21-'22 • March 2020
“I’ve been having cowboy fantasies again,” I mumble, before kicking through the s…
Chained To A Tree
73
EAT '24 •
When they were all like “We need someone to chain themselves to this tree!” I was all l…
Fire Department Tour
20
SWR '19-'20 • March 2020
Fire Chief: And this here’s where we do our laundry—(alarm goes off) Oof, sorry kids, t…
Party
60
JKF FOD • May 2023
Student: Don, man, what’re you doing at our epic party? Don Quijote: Ah, you see, I wa…
Polygamy
1090
JRD '22-'23 • November 2020
-Hey man, you gonna make it to the barbecue this Saturday? –(Groans) Ughhh I really wish I c…
Suburban Journaling
61
JKF '25 • December 2023
On summer nights, I would sit by the train tracks. There wasn’t much to do around town except…
Strange Position
29
SAB '24 •
Alright Officer, so there I am walking down Main Street with my groceries when I see this guy layin…
The Death of Kenzo Simmons
10
BWM '19-'21 • May 2021
-Welcome to heaven. Please state your name, occupation, and cause of death. -Wow, so you mus…
My Birth
8
SWR '19-'20 • December 2020
Here are some things that might happen when I am born. — The doctor accidentally gives my pa…
A Retelling of Jaws By Someone Who Has Definitely Seen It
16
FSS '21 • October 2020
Jaws…yes. Jaws is the story of a very big shark. Everyone knows that. Especially those who h…
Vanitas
JLG '21 • October 2020
Dear Judging Committee for the American Society for Magazine Editors, I notice you have not been r…
J. Robert Oppenheimer signs an NDA
37
CDL '21 • October 2020
– You understand that after you sign this document you cannot discuss the Manhattan Proj…
Operation Enduring Freedom
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
George Bush: Good afternoon. On my orders the United States military has begun coordinated at…
Elvis Has Left the Building
79
Robert Carlock '95 • November 2020
ANNOUNCER: “Elvis has left the building!” TEENAGE FANS: “(Scream)!” ANNOU…
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