Pieces

JPW '21   •   September 2020
I pick up this girl Julia in my car, and I’m doing 90 on Lincoln Avenue, you know, batting ma…
JFAR '19-'22   •   January 2017
Chimney sweeping is what I was born to do since I have no arms or legs. Doctors called my missing l…
MMM '20   •   October 2020
No, dude. No no no no this is not happening right now. I’ve lightly grazed the doorframe on m…
JFAR '19-'22   •   April 2019
-…is the best way I thought I could begin breaking this news, Timmy. I’m so sorry. She…
MJS '19   •   May 2018
Last Names A- Y: Harding Room 2121 Last Name Zanderson: Arrive at the boarded up Liquor-Max on Was…
KPB   •   May 2021
i am texting from the faculty lounge and i am looking at the Change Jar in front of me and it appea…
CDL '21   •   December 2020
-Listen, kid. This is easy. Just read off the teleprompter, and we’re golden. Start whenever.…
SAB '24   •   May 2022
Nuclear warheads dropping near the die table. Bombs away, babes. Time for a quick game to 11 before…
The Harvard Lampoon   •   October 2022
What is the only thing Harvard students like more than telling people they went to school “ri…
SWR '19-'20   •   March 2019
– Attention please, the presentation by Tajikistan will begin in 5 minutes. – (20 minu…
MMM '20   •   October 2020
Frankly, it seemed certain that Marco would get lunch detention. Frank Lee, our principal, along wi…
ZPH '12   •   February 2010
… is like any other, especially the kind where one partner steals from the other, day after …
HFJ '18   •   October 2018
-And here’s the pantry. -What’s with these marks on the wall? -We marked our son&rsqu…
MAG '21-'22   •   July 2021
Winston Churchill, known for all of his political and military accomplishments, was also a Nobel Pr…
MFP '23-24   •   September 2022
Good evening, Lady Harrington. I have arrived on my mighty steed to take you away to — pardon…
LKN '25   •   March 2023
This message is addressed to Presley, Elvis. Dear Sir: You are hereby notified that you have been…
RYSL FOD   •   May 2023
Hey. (gurgles) You think this is allowed? (spits) It’s not even really drinking, man! …
DJL '20   •   October 2020
This is not a real piece, just my observation about pieces, and I am a human writing this, a perfec…
MMM '20   •   February 2020
sigh No, Percival, it does not. But due to your father’s generous donation, I am… plea…
Stars
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NGH '23   •   June 2021
-Wow, you’re right, stargazing is pretty cool. -Stare long enough, and apparently you start …