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Pieces
Cruising Altitude
2
MFP '23-24 • September 2021
Good evening passengers, this is your doctor speaking. Yeah, you heard that right. Everybody know…
J. Robert Oppenheimer signs an NDA
37
CDL '21 • October 2020
– You understand that after you sign this document you cannot discuss the Manhattan Proj…
My First Kid
49
NGH '23 • December 2022
Opening scene: my wife’s going into labor. I watch a lot of TV, so I know what to do. “…
The Guys Who Invented Ping Pong
21
JLG '21 • July 2021
GUY 1: Check this out…(opens up the game PONG on Atari)GUY 2: Woah! (plays PONG)GUY 1: If on…
Lose Yourself Artist Commentary
2
JGS '20 • October 2019
My Birth
8
SWR '19-'20 • December 2020
Here are some things that might happen when I am born. — The doctor accidentally gives my pa…
From the Creators of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!"
142
LKN '25 • December 2023
“I Can Totally See This Being Mayonnaise” Margarine “It’s For My Windshiel…
Letter to Roosevelt
10
MMM '20 • January 2020
In 1939, at the urging of physicist Leo Szilárd, Einstein wrote a letter to FDR, informing h…
Tom and Jerry Spec Script
13
HJH '19 • October 2020
Tom is strolling along the railroad tracks, whistling a happy tune. Jerry walks parallel to Tom on …
Vanitas
JLG '21 • October 2020
Dear Judging Committee for the American Society for Magazine Editors, I notice you have not been r…
Mall Santa
18
JPW '21 • October 2020
Beep. Beep. Beep. 5:15 AM. I sigh. I brew my morning coffee and catch up on the news — just …
Medical Report
89
EPS '24 •
I have this disease where everyday at 3 am three dudes kick the shit out of me. It started p…
New Cat
BWM '19-'21 • December 2020
So a couple days ago my wife and I decided to restart the old marriage. Seeing as I’m impoten…
Larry takes a trip on Delta Airlines Flight 460 to Las Vegas
2
FSS '21 • March 2020
Patricia: Hello everyone and welcome to Delta Airlines Flight 460 to Las Vegas. My name is Patricia…
World’s Luckiest & Most Depressed Person
238
JRD '22-'23 • January 2022
Pam Jensen woke up just like she did every other day – at the exact moment that she could see…
Ice Gun
MFP '23-24 • September 2021
- You know that I love and support you, right? - Of course. - And that goes for anything, includi…
The History of Hats
3
JPW '21 • October 2020
There are all types of hats, like silver or classic. But hats haven’t always dominated our co…
New Partner
22
JFAR '19-'22 • January 2016
A cop’s #1 belief: I’m not gonna be the jerkoff that shoots his own partner. I live and…
Last Day at the Zoo
21
NSG '20-'22 • December 2020
After serving as head zookeeper for 25 years and chief hunting assistant during a disastrous week-l…
Hindenburg
38
MRB FOD • May 2023
Only 35 of the 97 total passengers were killed in the Hindenburg Blimp disaster. This has really ta…
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